How to Wreck a Home:

Today is the 14th day of the month. So, we went to Proverbs 14. Verse one reads. “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with (her own) hands. Hmmm. What a ’heavy’ topic. The sort of issue a majority of people would rather not have to comment on. After all, we easily notice “the wise woman builds her house”, and soberly realize the work of building a house or a home never ends.

Yup. The harsh truth about home building is – it never ends.

Why? Simply because a house or a home is not made with brick, concrete wood or stone. They’re used to put up a building. Putting up a building is one thing. But building a home or a house involves individuals - people. Sad to say for one reason or another, people can fail, hurt or break. And when people break, the fixing’s that required is way, way harder than patching or repairing a building of wood, stone, concrete or brick.

Given “the foolish woman pulls it down” clues us the writer of the proverb may be revealing “a man may come and go” but usually, “it takes a woman to build a house or home”. And yes, arguably it’s the sort of verbiage that brings up the much-wrangled issue of gender partisanship. Well, so be it. Undisputedly, there are men, and there are women. Matter of fact, typically we say a man is handsome, and woman is beautiful.

They are different. Equal, but different. Don’t look at me. God did it.

However, difference between a man and a woman is a good thing. Apart from our God given ability to procreate because of the sexes, the attributes of men and women when utilized towards the accomplishment of a common goal, are usually, astounding. Because we can easily find and share our best historical resources, accomplishments and references in the Bible, we recall Old testament women as follows:

1. Miriam: Sister of Moses and Aaron, helped save her brother Moses as an infant by watching over him as he floated in the Nile. Later, she led the Israelite women in song and dance after the crossing of the Red Sea.

2. Deborah: Prophetess and judge of Israel, provided leadership and guidance during a time of oppression. She led Israel into battle against the Canaanite army and successfully delivered them from servitude.

3.Jael: Wife of Heber the Kenite, killed Canaanite general Sisera by driving a tent peg through his head and helped secure victory for Israel. 4 .Ruth: Moabite widow. She demonstrated loyalty and bravery by choosing to stay with her mother-in-law Naomi and embracing the Israelite culture. Her commitment led to her becoming the great-grandmother of King David.

5. Esther: Jewish queen of Persia, risked her life by approaching King Xerxes without being summoned to reveal her Jewish identity and saved her people from annihilation, leading to the celebration of Purim.

6. Hannah: Showed deep faith and courage in prayer, pledging her son to God’s service after enduring years of barrenness. Her dedication resulted in the birth of Samuel, one of Israel’s most significant prophets.

7. Rahab: A Canaanite woman and resident of Jericho, showed immense bravery hiding Israelite spies sent by Joshua to scout Jericho. Despite risk of death for treason, helped them escape and, in return, secured the safety of her family during Israelite conquest of the city. Her faith in God is recognized in the New Testament as well, where she’s noted for her faith and listed in the genealogy of Jesus, highlighting her significant role in biblical history.

New Testament. 8. Mary: Mother of Jesus Christ. She accepted the angel Gabriel’s message of her role in the miraculous birth of Jesus, facing potential social ostracism and danger for being an unwed mother. 9. Elizabeth: Mother of John the Baptist. Showed faith and perseverance in her old age by giving birth to John, despite societal pressures and her previous barrenness.

10. Mary Magdalene: Follower of Jesus. Remained by Jesus’ side during His crucifixion and was the first to witness and proclaim His resurrection, demonstrating immense loyalty and bravery.

11. Samaritan Woman at the Well: An unnamed woman from Samaria. Engaged in a theological discussion with Jesus, breaking cultural norms. She boldly shared her encounter with Him, leading many in her town to believe in Him.

12. Phoebe: Deaconess of the church in Cenchreae. Served the early church and was entrusted by Paul to deliver his letter to the Romans, playing a crucial role in the spread of the gospel.

13. Priscilla: Early Christian teacher. Along with her husband Aquila, took the bold step of teaching Apollos, an eloquent preacher, about the way of God more accurately, helping to shape early Christian doctrine.

It’s probably fair to imagine the above thirteen women as just examples of such heroism in the old and New Testament times. What also comes to mind is the woman who arranged for the occasional housing needs of Elisha the prophet in the Old Testament, and Dorcas, who was well known for her hospitality and caring for needy people in the New Testament.

Bottom line is the huge, distinct difference between a “wise woman (who) builds her house, and a foolish (who) pulls it down with her own hands” Today thanks to the “women’s lib” movement of the past century, many women are now able to enjoy wider freedoms of expression and allowed to pursue and excel in leading career choices typically worldwide.

Sadly however, such freedoms of choice for many women may come at an unexpected price when the true cost of house and home building are taken into consideration. For instance, quite recently, we watched a young mother who happened to also be a member of congress in Washington, DC representing her home state, show up with her infant son at reportedly only four weeks old…

So, we had an idea the related bill in the House of Representatives to allow proxy voting for such young mothers would be a “no brainer.” But reportedly, for some reason having to do with a one-week delay, the bill died.

Highlighting, apart from the advantage of all legislators being “on hand” during session in Washington, the huge challenge faced by a mother having to serve on the multiple fronts of her home and Congress.

Today, all across these United States, women live out the same challenges of being required for caring at home and at work. It’s now so normal; we may be hard put to imagine it any other way than women being on the job at home and the job.

However, again we remember the latter part of today’s proverb warns against foolishness, which can manifest in various ways, such as neglecting family for career pursuits or vice versa.

Women must be mindful of how their choices impact their households, ensuring they do not compromise their family’s well-being in the pursuit of success. Building a home involves fostering a harmonious environment.

Women can use their roles to promote understanding and shared responsibilities within the family, helping to create a balanced dynamic that respects both professional ambitions and family needs.

Coupling Proverbs 14:1 with the discussion about women balancing home and work underscores the importance of wisdom, intentionality, and support in navigating these dual roles.

A wise woman recognizes her ability to build a strong foundation for her family while also pursuing her professional goals. The huge number of divorce graveyards worldwide are sinister evidence to the failure of balancing. Women balancing home and job.

By integrating these aspects of her life and making thoughtful choices, a woman can create a nurturing environment that benefits both her household and her career. Apart from the tremendous workforce now provided by them, evidently ours, and the majority of world economies are now dependent on women in the workforce.

So, since there’s no way the genie of “stay and be a blessing at home” goes back into the bottle, let’s pray for all moms. Given the fact they’re needed to perform faithfully on two fronts, their wisdom on “How to Not Wreck a Home” is now crucial!

Dr. B, aka Carlton. 041425.